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Meet The Blenders

Who are the grooviest* guys in school? Arguably, The Blenders!

They have an indescribable sound that I would describe as "old and new," "inside out," and "reel-to-real." A natural sound that comes from lots of practice. Gordon, Derek, Chas, and Vincent practice every day after homework, and it shows! Loafer never practices, and it shows!


Their original red cassette known as 'The Ketchup Tape' (recorded in A-V Club) has earned grudging praise from the Sting-Ray City School Board. That's no easy feat for a "rock combo".  Now let's meet the boys!

No one is as smart as Gordon. He likes BB rifles and impossible-

to-understand scientific stuff. There's a girl named Nadine in Chemistry Club who wears glasses. He taught her how to blend. Gordon denies this.

Girls love Derek on account of he is the poetic and romantic Blender. He proposed to a bunch of them already. If you could get him off his surfboard (good luck), pull back his blonde hair and look into his blue eyes, he would probably propose to you. 

Chas used to be called "Chocolate Chip" and he was a slob but he cleaned up his act so he can get a girlfriend this year. His new dashing appearance confuses everyone. He plays guitar and wears a turtleneck like the Man from U.N.C.L.E. 


Vincent started middle school this year and he just figured out that girls exist. Maybe someday he will talk to one. Or maybe not. For now, he is content to let his keyboard do the talking.

Loafer is the drummer. He is, um ... very polite! 

Now that you have met the boys, please try not to fight over which Blender will be your Dream Date!

This was typed by Loafer's Mom.


*groov·y (gro͞o′vē)

adj. groov·i·er, groov·i·est Slang

Very pleasing; wonderful.

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  • 1. Which song did Vincent write that contains the lyric, "Monday, when I saw you at your locker, I got a stomach ache?" A. Janice B. All The Colors C. Blenders Advice Column"
    A. Janice
  • 2. How late will the Blenders dance to the driving beat during "Night On Disco Mountain"? A. Until dawn B. Until Loafer's Mom comes to pick them up C. Until 10 p.m."
    C. Until 10 p.m.
  • 4. What was the substitute teacher wearing at the Shindig? A. A plastic mini-skirt B. A turtleneck and a beret C. A poncho and corduroy flairs
    B. A turtleneck and a beret
  • 5. Where was the Roller Derby event that featured a groin-kicking, hair-pulling brawl? b. A. Omaha, Nebraska B. Eyota, Minnesota C. Missoula, Montana"
    a. Omaha, Nebraska
  • 6. Where did the Blenders see a motorcycle daredevil guy named Pete ride a 'wheelie'? A. At the Traveling Gypsy Big Top Circus B. Crossing the Golden Gate Bridge C. At the Smokin' Pomona Nitro Drags
    c. At the Smokin' Pomona Nitro Drags
  • 7. Fill in the blank. "If you just stop you'll see that life is ____________." A. Ripe for the taking B. Not all fun and games C. Equally unfair to girls and to boys"
    B. Not all fun and games
  • 8. How did Surfer Sam win the trophy at the Pipeline Classic? A. By cutting a wave about 30 feet high! B. By nippin' the tuck and ridin' the "I" C. By doing handstands and waving to the girls D. All of the above"
    D. All of the above
  • 9. What word did the Blenders check to confirm that it is, in fact, in the dictionary? A. Groovy B. Neptune* (used as an adjective) C. COOL!"
    C. COOL!
  • 10. How did Chuck's beautiful wife, Jan Swinger die? A. A shark got her B. She contracted a virus from a bite from her Guinea Pig Billy Bob C. She got run over by a hippie in a Dune Buggy"
    C. She got run over by a hippie in a Dune Buggy
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Mail Us!

Chuck's Garage

1 Ocean Beach Drive
Surf, CA 

Thanks for being a Blenders fan!

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